Disclaimer: This story is inspired by Tiger’s Bride by Angela Carter
He is the Tiger and I’m the Bride. Everything is so clear to me now.
Tiger was constantly wearing a mask, and I didn’t realize it when I was younger. He always showed me the same expression when he climbed a tree and knocked on my bedroom window; when he walked me to my school; and when he gave me sweets whenever I was upset. A mask that was almost invisible, deceived me so well as if it had already dissolved onto his face.
On our wedding day, we all dressed in black; the day we buried my parents. Their death was too sudden, it felt very unreal. Like a dream that you believed will wake up from, but then it continued. It continued until you questioned your reality, and had no choice but to accept. I walked down the path with flowers in my hands. He walked right beside me, as we were approaching my parents’ last resting place. People lowered them down to the ground, and I threw the flowers inside. He held my hand firmly, sealing our bond.
“I’ll take care of you,” he whispered.
And we drove to our home.
*
“Tell me everything, Kitty. Tell me how you feel.”
“I can’t right now.”
“Don’t be afraid, you can bare everything to me.”
“I am not ready. You are my best friend and you are always there for me, but I can’t tell you everything I feel.”
He kissed my forehead before he left me alone in my new room.
*
He lives all by himself. Everything inside his home is at its right place. His walls are dark and empty, as if it hides secrets within. His bedroom door is always locked, whether he is inside or not. Every time I told him an excuse to enter his room, he always said that some people need a space to be left alone.
I have never thought that living with him will be so choking. Slowly, his mask disintegrates. The smile on his face gradually fades. The smile he used to show when he came up in front of my bedroom window. The conversation went cold when we had breakfast together before he went to work. No more sweet gifts like he used to give me when I cried out of loneliness.
Dinner has never been this tense in my life. So quiet, I can hear myself chew. The clinking of the fork and knife when they hit the plate is the only sound that accompanies us. As if they are the one who are making a conversation instead of us. An invisible bubble traps us inside; silences us from the outburst of our feelings. And he can’t trick me to make a crack on the surface.
“You are here right in front of me, but it feels as if we are miles apart. We have known each other for life, yet you seem like a stranger who invades my home. Won’t you open your heart to me, Kitty? Or am I not worth the risk?”
That night, the dinner is left unfinished.
*
The next day, he doesn’t walk me home from class like he used to. And that trip without his presence makes me able to weigh the chances for me to leave him and find another home that is less intimidating. When I arrive home, I’m surprised to see him leaning on his bedroom door, about to walk to my room. He keeps on staring at me; his face is so deep I can’t predict what he’s thinking. I decide to stop right in front of him. Not to observe, but I can’t help it. I am drawn to him, pulled by his gaze. Even though I am not sure whether he is waiting for me or thinking about something serious.
“Come inside.”
He finally says and makes my heart race. I don’t know what to expect, what secrets he holds behind these walls.
When he opens his bedroom door, all I am thinking is to run away. I don’t know why exactly, but I am scared of what I might find in there. But this is the time when he finally decides to open his heart, so I have no choice but to step in. My steps are so slow as they suddenly become heavy. But when I am actually inside the room, and he closes his bedroom door, I finally realise why his apartment walls are so empty. His bedroom walls are so full of photos, as if they inhale all the photos from the other walls.
“You know them,” he breaks the silence, making my head turn to face him.
“Your parents,” I squeaked.
He sighs and walks towards his bed while eyeing the pictures on the walls.
“They separated and left me when I was barely an adult, but too old for other people to care.” He sits on his bed and faces me.
A tragedy similar to mine. Death of the parents, that leaves us to be lonely creatures. Craving for attention, for someone to fill the gaping hole inside.
“I long for them, but I love you,” he says again and those words catch me off guard.
“I already revealed all of me. I am bare naked in front of you now.”
I still don’t speak and slowly walk towards him, sitting on the bed beside him. My eyes are locked on him. Minutes after minutes I arrange my words in my head even though what I need to say is already clear.
“I love you, too.” Those three words make me sick, as I too surprisingly feel naked in front of him.
“It’s been empty for so long. Come inside and fill me in.”
His action is almost immediate. He leans forward, cups the side of my head, and kisses my lips in a split second without giving me any time to think. But it is enough time for me to decide to kiss him back. His hand caresses my neck, my shoulder and my arms, followed by the trails of his kisses. On my skin, at the shadow of his touch, black stripes start to emerge. And I morph into something I’ve never been before.
Finally, the cat turns into a tiger as well.
Kita's Nook 